Home Is Where the Heart (Attack) Is

I am suffering from DRAT (Domestic Responsibility Anxiety and Tension). My life has gone from simple to not-so-simple in the course of an eight-hour drive and it feels like a tidal-wave has crashed over me. When I try to take in all that needs my attention, my heart pounds and I have to remind myself to breathe. Now that I am back in Calgary, I have to face my domestic duties, and then some.

As I enter my home, after this lengthy absence, the presence of “stuff” overwhelms me. My den is piled high with useful and not-so-useful items, extra clothes that don’t fit or won’t fit are still stored in my closet. Then, staring me in the face, are the spring jobs left undone by life’s circumstances. There are windows in need of washing, carpets and upholstery to shampoo, new curtains to hang, walls to be painted. All this and more, left on hold while I supported my husband’s decision to work up north. Sadly, I am already missing the creative lifestyle I had there.

I feel compelled to simplify and purge. The obvious room to start with is my den since the fact that I’ve not posted on my site in two weeks is making me anxious. I need my writing space and the area should welcome me, not say, “go and see if you can eek out a spot at the kitchen table.”

I am shredding in abundance and amazed at the sight of the financial records, that once filled three little file folders, expanding to fill one Glad Bag. As I sort, I ask myself the basic questions of decluttering for each item – Is it useful? It is beautiful? Have I used it in the last year? Then, as I am about to place a floral-shaped candle holder in the “out” box, a little voice says “wait you might find yourself looking for that some day.” But I haven’t used it five years. “Just about the time you throw it out, you’ll be wishing you had it.” It is clutter warfare and I have lost this battle before. This time I silence the voice and into the box it goes. I am doing the right thing and it is feeling great. Why did I ever think I needed to keep all this stuff?

Next it is off to Ikea to buy the new “Expedit” shelving unit, in white, complete with baskets and decorative boxes. An errand that I thought would take about an hour, takes closer to two and my husband, The Consultant, arrives home after his eight-hour drive home from Fort McMurray just in time to help me unload it from my car. Whenever I buy anything from Ikea that needs assembling, I say “never again!” But with The Consultant’s help, it is together and in place in no time. And he is happy to be home 🙂

It is no accident that there are no pictures to accompany this post. I am too embarrassed to share with the world. Maybe I’ll be willing to post a few “after” pictures at some point but right now my goal is to get my laptop off my lap and write my next post at my inspiring, tidy new desk space. As the den is falling into place, I feel a slight return to calmness. That is until I walk into the bedroom! One day at a time.