What’s Your Struggle?
Right now, I am struggling to stay focused on my writing goals. It’s that time of year again, when I pack up a few of my favorite things in preparation to head north in support of The Consultant and his work. This is the fourth summer of our temporary lifestyle and, it is starting to feel like my new normal – at last.
The transition to this new way of life has not been easy. When we started this path in 2011, it seemed everything was a struggle. Looking back now, I can see why. Virtually everything in my life changed within four months.
I left my secure full-time job to explore my writing dream. Seasonally, I relocate from the city I call home to small communities north where I know no one and my husband works 10-hour days. My support system of family and long-time friends are miles away.
Between the two of us, we lost three parents and our dog in the first half of 2011.
I, also, began to work through the empty nest stage of parenting which was much more emotional than I anticipated. Down to a family of two, The Consultant and I have embarked on a new stage of life that I see as the tail end of middle age.
These changes have all been part of the story I’m living.
This has been a time of personal evolution. Struggling through the adjustment to all that is new has given me a new perspective that I wouldn’t change for the world.
I am now among the oldest generation in my immediate family, which feels like it comes with a higher level of responsibility. My leading role steps up a notch as I endeavor to pass on family legacy. I support our adult children and perhaps, some day, grandchildren. The Consultant and I are the greatest source of love for each other and the upcoming generation. We are the elders now.
Lately, I see life falling into place. I’ve grown to love my writing time. The kids are self-sufficient. The Consultant and I are checking items off our individual and joint wish lists. I get butterflies in my stomach when I realize, I’m working on my dream.
I have decided to stop doing battle with change and embrace the rhythm of my new life. My biggest struggle now is with the adjustment period each spring and fall – spring into a new community and fall back to the familiar. Each transition affects my writing. Looking at the big picture today, if my greatest struggle is to stay focused on my writing while I relocate, I am very fortunate.
What’s your struggle?
Is it really your struggle? Could you call it adventure?
How does your struggle contribute to your life story?
Kathi
As a mother of two grown children, I have transitioned through the empty nest and am embracing this amazing and yet, sometimes confusing stage of life. My desire is to write my way through whatever comes my way and should my thoughts resonate, I'd love to hear from you.
11 Comments
Uncle Allan
Kathi, you and ‘the Consultant’ are so very precious and special people. Your writings ALWAYS bring a tear to my eyes. Buddy and Karen (do you have a name for her?) and the Princess are so very fortunate to have the two of you as their parents. My love to all of you there.
Uncle Allan XOXOXOXO
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
I have some thoughts on a name for Karen but haven’t quite committed yet. I think it’s time I got on with it. 🙂
Uncle Allan
:-))
Saying Kaddish
I love how you have handled the issue of transition. I find myself in the throes of a major transition at this point in my life, and reading your blog has made me feel much more peaceful. And I envy you the view from your writing chair.
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
Thank you, Sarah. Are we ever done with transition? I think you should join me. I have an extra writing chair for you. 😉
Dottie
My struggle is about 10 years beyond yours, trying to balance a totally free life with doing my own scheduling to make my time more fulfilling. It’s so easy to let time slip through my fingers with nothing to show for it on the other side. This was going to be my writing time, but I find myself dragging my feet. I don’t know why. I am glad you are finding your way through the maze of life after kids and becoming the wise elder. Big responsibility! But rewarding, too. Keep going. You’re doing great!
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
Thank you, Dottie. I think I need a few extra writing chairs. We could have an ongoing writing circle. 😉
janstring
HI Kath,
What a wonderful post 🙂 It’s like a sense a growth in you, through your words! 🙂
It sounds like a fantastic opportunity to be on the move seasonally – to be away and come home. I’d like know to be away – just my kids whom bring me home 🙂 You have set my thoughts whirring.
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
Thank you, Jan. I would like to more about those thoughts!
Zehra Naqvi-Sajjad
Lovely post, Kathi. You know I’m a lot younger than you– I turned 27 this year, and I always feel like I want to do everything I want as long as I’m young… that when I get older I’d be able to do nothing. But reading what you write gives me such a fresh and great perspective… it makes me look forward to getting more mature … and to feel less pressure and less frustration if I’m not getting what I want right now.
I’ve been in a major struggle period for the past two years– which was when my son was born. Me and my husband have had to live away from each other …over the past 22 months if we just count all the scattered days we spent together, it totals about 4 months. It’s a terrible thing for two people so much in love, and its terrible for a little boy to not have his parents together. Ah, well… it won’t last forever. I’ve learnt how to cope with my worst fear. And I’ve learnt not to say “I’ll never do this. Ever.” Sometimes you have to do things you don’t like.
I’m still writing though and that’s a great thing. I don’t have half as good a writing place as you though! Hope you have more great adventures !
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
There is so much truth in your comments, Zehra. We just never know what life will send our way, do we? We just get to decide how we handle the situations that come our way. Enjoy your 20’s and your precious little boy. Each stage goes by so quickly. Look at me now – my kids are 25 and 22 years old already! I hope you can be together as a family before long. Glad to hear from you. Big hug.