Can We Go Back to Where We Fell in Love and Fall Again?
Travel back to 1978 with me, and you’ll see us on the isle of Crete looking like a couple of characters from the flashbacks in Mamma Mia.
The Consultant and I had been dating for eighteen months and we’d already extended our agreement. The agreement was to go our separate ways if we reached the one-year mark. We thought it was sensible since we were so young and neither of us had been looking for a partner when we met. It was reasonable to think, at 17 and 19; we needed to keep our worlds open to other personalities and experiences.
But when the anniversary arrived, we were enjoying life. We modified our plan – we agreed to stay together as long as we were having fun. The fun included a trip to Europe and over a month in Greece.
Our first stop in Greece was in a little town called Ierapetra. We found accommodation at the Cretan Villa, a pension (type of boarding house, pronounced pen-see-on) with community bathrooms and kitchen, for the equivalent of about 2.70 CAD per night.
It was full of young people from all over the world – Australia, Sweden, Canada, and the U.S. We spent lots of time on the rooftop, getting to know our fellow guests, making friends and sharing meal preparation.
One night, The Consultant helped one of our new friends, a girl from Seattle who was travelling on her own. He saved her from some lecherous, old guy by pretending he was with her. I felt jealous.
We argued and his explanation was simple. He wasn’t going to stand by and watch this girl in trouble, even if it made me unhappy. It hadn’t even occurred to him that I’d be mad when his intention was to help a damsel in distress. He’d do it again if he had to. It hadn’t occurred to me that his actions weren’t about his relationship with me. Me, me, me. I was only eighteen at the time.
I cried, we talked, I cried some more. We hugged, we kissed, and we found our connection. We realized we were raised in similar ways. We were each trying to be good people. We had similar family values and wanted to do right. We fell in love with the differences and the sameness we saw in each other. And that’s been our foundation for 37 years now.
So, have we been having fun all this time? There are times when I wonder.
In a long-term relationship, fun doesn’t always take the spotlight. You know how it goes. Life with children and work is busy. Healthy meals, skinned knees, and carpooling are front and centre, and take most of your attention.
We know we can have fun as a family but, once the kids mature and move into their own lives we wonder whether we can still have fun as a couple?
It’s easy to lose sight of the person who lies beside you at night. The person I committed to has changed with time and so have I. I know the foundation is still there but will it hold?
Next week, we’ll fly back to Crete. It’s been our dream since we left so long ago. Traveling is our thing. But, I’m a bit worried about revisiting the place we fell in love. I’m not naïve enough to think that Crete or our relationship is the same.
In 1978, our relationship was still budding, we were still learning about each other. Everything about the experience was new. The world seemed like a much bigger place. My flight to Europe was my first plane ride. It was exciting to find a whole new culture across each border.
We returned home from that trip with a great deal of travel experience under our belts, a deep connection with each other and a soft-spot for Europe.
Now, our relationship is mature. When we return, we’ll carry thirty-seven years of history with us. Will that history be weighty or will it propel us into another level of reconnection?
I know we can’t recreate our first experience but I look forward to a new adventure. This time, instead of renting a room in a pension in Ierapetra, we’ve rented a house eleven kilometres north of the small town.
Instead of scooting around on a mini-bike we had rented for a single day, we’ll travel the hour or so south in a car we’ve rented by the month. We’ll park and stroll around the same streets we did back then and reacquaint ourselves.
We’re hoping for breathtaking views of the sea, for crisp cucumbers and flavourful tomatoes bought daily from the market, shop owners who beckon us from the doorway and the friendly calls of “yasoo” from children as we pass by. We are anticipating the fun time ahead.
I wonder whether Crete, with its sweet and salty air, will hold the romance we discovered back then.
My hope is that we travel back to the island of Crete and fall in love all over again. Will we?
(You can see the sequel here)
Kathi
As a mother of two grown children, I have transitioned through the empty nest and am embracing this amazing and yet, sometimes confusing stage of life. My desire is to write my way through whatever comes my way and should my thoughts resonate, I'd love to hear from you.
20 Comments
Dottie
Big question. You can’t, of course, recreate times past, and you probably don’t want to. But, with 37 years under your belt, it will be a new adventure, new sights, new fun, and since you both have changed, a new couple in many ways! Sounds exciting. Enjoy it how ever it shows up.
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
We will absolutely enjoy. And we’ll take it as it comes. One way or another, we’ll be making memories. 🙂
Languedoc Lady
Wishing you a magical trip.
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
Thank you so much, Gayleen!
coly
Thank you again for sharing yourself and your family with us Kathi. I wish you and Paul a safe and happy trip. And that you fall in love again with Crete and each other! It will be magical. Love you both
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
I’ll let you know when we get back. 🙂 Love you too, Coly.
Saying Kaddish
I hope you do fall in love all over again. I wish you joy-filled moments and connections made deeper by your shared experiences.
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
Thank you for your thoughtful wishes, Sarah. We’re so excited!
Uncle Allan
Kathi….. darn ya…… ya did it to me AGAIN….. choked me up. What wonderful writing. It appears to this OLD uncle that you and ‘The Consultant’ are so obviously very much in love already. I love you both so much. Being more mature now, you will likely find Crete (as you are) very different yet very much the same, and I expect the romance will still be there. I know you will have a magnificent time reminiscing and meeting more new friends. I have to ask, is that girl from Seattle the same one that you are visiting in May?
Have a safe, FUN journey Sweetheart. I look forward to hearing all about it on your return. XOXOXO
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
I’ll be all set to tell you about in May, Uncle Al. And no, unfortunately we lost touch with that gal many years ago but we did stay in touch for a long time. xoxo
Heather
Your writing gets me thinking of old times—thanks for bringing back those wonderful old memories, Kathi!
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
I still can’t believe it’s been 37 years, Heather. Talk about old memories, alright! I hope you’re writing some of yours, Heather. 🙂
Della
Awe Kathi, this brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written, as always. Happy travels.
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
Thank you, Della. See you in May!
Barbara Bamber | justasmidgen
I loved reading this! I loved the photos and the travel back to those bygone years. How lovely to read about you two falling in love, that’s a piece of your puzzle I didn’t know. I think you’ll look at each other and both of you will say “I choose you.” Have a wonderful trip!! xx
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
When I look at those pictures, it seems like a lifetime ago. We are so excited to have this dream become a reality. I like your prediction Barb! xo
Zehra Naqvi
This is such a beautiful post ! Hope you have a wonderful time and more beautiful memories to cherish later. Makes me wonder about my future with my husband when our son is grown up! We got together at almost the same age- I was 17 and he was 22 🙂
My Life After Kids (Kathi Ostrom)
We’re having a wonderful time, so far, Zehra. It’s hard to believe we were here at that age! Make sure you plan to revisit something special from your beginnings, too.
Zehra Naqvi-Sajjad
That’s a great suggestion, Kathi. We will. Though our love story’s pretty tame! Glad to hear you’re having a great time.
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