Connection and Commitment
Yesterday, the Consultant and I had a nice connection over our son’s upcoming wedding. We were sitting out in the sun, on the cabin deck, enjoying a glass of wine and working on our speech.
The Consultant said he’d like to share some secrets of a lasting relationship with the bride and groom because, of course, we have our track record of longevity. Surely we have many words of wisdom for the young couple.
Funny thing is, we think Buddy and Girlfriend have this relationship thing all figured out. They’ve been together over ten years.
I remember fairly early in their relationship, Girlfriend came to me a little upset. She and Buddy had argued over something and she wanted to know – How do you do this?
How do you make a relationship last for years or forever?
What’s the secret? She was gathering information. She’d gathered her mom’s thoughts about this, and now she wanted mine.
In that moment, her commitment to Buddy came through loud and clear. Girlfriend was serious.
What could I tell her? What would help her navigate the complicated world of relationships?
I’m sure I suggested something like this –
- Keep a life of your own.
One thing the Consultant and I did was keep up with our friends and our own interests. I believe, we were never meant to be gobbled up by someone else’s identity. It’s okay to take breaks away from your partner. Go hang out with your pals, take part in an activity you enjoy on your own, and then come together again refreshed.
- Respect each other’s unique gifts.
The Consultant and I are so different from one another and yet, I truly believe that’s the magic. His strengths are my weaknesses and vice versa. Just because you’ve come together in love doesn’t mean your goal is to become one and the same. You each bring something unique to your relationship and life. Often these gifts complement each other and that’s why you become greater as a couple than alone. Support each other’s passions. You’ll both be happier and more fulfilled if you do.
- Ask yourself, “Can I imagine myself with anyone else?”
I’ve never imagined venturing through life with anyone but The Consultant. We’ve learned and grown together, built a love story full of rich content. He is the love of my life. We see you are the love of Buddy’s life, Girlfriend, and he is yours. We couldn’t be happier about it.
Since Buddy and Girlfriend have been together so long, the upcoming ceremony is just a formality, really. And yet it feels like so much more.
As The Consultant and I sat together talking about our son, it was impossible not to well up with pride and emotion. His wedding day is our chance to truly celebrate the man he’s become and the choices he’s making. That’s what we plan to do on his wedding day.
Is there a better day to tell your son, and the world, how proud you are of him?
12 Comments
Chris Giancarlo
Excellent advice, my friend! I’ll bet S & G are set for a great life together. They’ve had some life experience & longevity is in the genes. CONGRATULATIONS to u both and the kids. All deserve this happiness ❤️
Chris xo
Kathi
I do picture a good life for these kids. They’re well on their way. Thanks, Chris! xo
Zehra Naqvi
So wonderful ! This isn’t just advice for Buddy , but for all young couples out there. Sharing !
Sarah Birnbach
And for older couples, too.
Kathi
Haha! So true, Sarah.
Kathi
Thank you, Zehra!
Sarah Birnbach
Congratulations on the upcoming nuptuals. I love the sentimentality, pride and love that come through in this post. I would add that listening to ones partner — really listening– is also an important ingredient for a successful relationship. I had to learn that the hard way.
Kathi
Absolutely, Sarah. Don’t we all want to be heard by our spouses? xo
Della
Sage advice, my friend.
Kathi
Thank you, Della!
Dottie Joslyn
Such wonderful advice! What a great way to connect with the Consultant, too, talking about what has made your marriage work. Lovely post!
Kathi Ostrom Gowsell
… and the fact that The Consultant wanted to share his thoughts on love with anyone but me is a little out of character. I like it!